More tranny stories later!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
