I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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