no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
