I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
