i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
