I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize