No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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