does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
