Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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