He told me they were just razor bumps!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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