Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
