The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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