hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
