How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
