I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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