Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize