I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
