you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
