Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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