there's paper in my vomit.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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