My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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