evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's shark week go big or go home
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
