i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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