last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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