but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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