yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
