some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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