I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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