You're so nebulous sometimes
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
