Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
