You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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