i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
