We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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