Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
