Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
