yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.