rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.