I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.