I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
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I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO