In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla