the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
