No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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