tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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