My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well I just put wine in my tea
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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