We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
