I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
