At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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