I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize