Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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