he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
