sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
