We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
