jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
