You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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