ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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