I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
