I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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