is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
