A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
