ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
