YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
