Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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