yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
