i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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