Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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