Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
