Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize