I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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